In our most recent podcast episode, we tackled the often-dreaded but crucial aspect of TTRPGs: having difficult conversations with your group. Whether it's addressing problematic behavior, reconciling differing play styles, or simply ensuring everyone's expectations align, these conversations are key to curating a gaming group that stands the test of time. Let's unpack some of the wisdom shared in the episode and explore how to foster a TTRPG community built on respect, fun, and shared adventure.
The Social Contract
This unwritten, and most times unspoken, agreement lays the groundwork for group dynamics, and covers expectations for behavior, communication, and mutual respect. It's about agreeing to create a space where everyone feels welcome, heard, and excited to participate. It's worth setting up from the beginning - in a Session 0 - addressing everything from session frequency and punctuality to more sensitive topics like content boundaries and conflict resolution.
By clearly defining what is expected from each member, including the Dungeon Master, we can set ourselves up for success. This foundation ensures that when difficult conversations do arise, they're handled within a framework that everyone has agreed upon, making those discussions more about navigating challenges together and less about confrontation.
At the heart of any lasting TTRPG group is trust. Trust that each member respects the others, trust in the game's direction, and trust that everyone is there to contribute to a collective storytelling experience. Establishing this foundation of a social contract and trust early on sets the stage for a group dynamic that can weather any storm.
Embrace & Face the Awkward
Difficult conversations are, by their very nature, uncomfortable. However, they're also necessary and can be incredibly productive. Addressing issues head-on prevents minor annoyances from festering into group-ending grievances and actually protects our emotional outcomes in the long-run. Here are a few points to keep in mind for how to approach these difficult conversations:
Create a Safe Space
Ensure that everyone feels safe and respected during discussions. This encourages open and honest communication, which is essential for resolving conflicts. As Vlad mentioned, give people an out, don't back people into a corner!
Be Clear and Direct
Clarity is kindness in difficult conversations. Be direct about the issue while remaining compassionate and empathetic towards all group members. Highlight the impact this issue is having on yourself or other group members.
Focus on Solutions, Not Blame
Approach the conversation with the goal of finding a solution that works for everyone. Avoid placing blame and instead focus on how to move forward positively. Address the problem, not the player (no PPs).
Follow Up
After a difficult conversation, check in with the group to see how the implemented changes are working. This shows commitment to the group's well-being and keeps the lines of communication and care open.
Helpful Articles:
We also discussed curating a group!
Here are more resources to take and adapt for your needs:
Step 1: Nicole's LFG post
Here’s my LFG post - replace with your own info as needed!!
Game: D&D 5e - homebrew campaign, fairly open world but group is plot-oriented
Group type: Online - Discord voice
We are: late twenties early thirties, guy gals and NB pals
Seeking: 1-2 Players, prefer someone with some familiarity of 5e mechanics
Location/Timezone: DM in Pacific timezone but we have players in eastern as well
Schedule: we play pretty much every Thursday, depending on player availability and DM work schedule, 6pm until 9pm PST using Discord, D&D Beyond, and Roll20.
Game style: very laid back DM, pretty casual game. mix of roleplay, combat, and adventure. some amount of combat roughly every session, sometimes every other session depending on context and pace
Game background: We've been adventuring in this campaign for ~16 sessions. It has a lot of fey, elemental, and dragon themes to it, the group is currently en route to a new portion of the world to investigate planar portals that are popping up with more frequency. Each player gets individual storylines and background-based quests, depends on if the group chooses to pursue them.
If interested, PM me with:
tell me a little about yourself - asl if you'd like, or just any favorite books, movies, DnD moments or monsters, hobbies, whatever feels relevant
what is your experience with 5e or other TTRPGs?
what is your preferred playstyle (what's your ideal mix of RP/combat/other etc.)
timezone
any character ideas - what are your favorite races, classes, backgrounds? do you have a couple builds and backstories in mind?
Hoping to do some voice chat before deciding - looking forward to it!
Edit to add party info:
5 level 6 players, 2 of whom may drop and looking to either fill in if they do, or add to so we have a full party in case players miss. We have a quarter-dragon (reskinned tiefling) sorc, human warlock, triton barb, gnome ranger/fighter (with unknown schedule), and gnome bard (may drop)